Feng shui with a side of "fuck that shit"
2018 is going to be an exciting year. I am not going to list my resolutions because to be frank, they are bullshit. No one needs a new year to start something. They need motivation to do what they need to do. I got this sporadic burst of motivation and "screw what people think" attitude. I hope you go into 2018 with the heart and motivation that you've always wanted. I hope you learn to be your own best friend and to love yourself if you aren't already. Just make sure whatever you do this year,
you do what makes you happy.
You will be judged no matter what, so do you. You will lose some people for doing what you do, but you know what, the people who are suppose to be in your life will be. Fuck the people who sit back and talk about you but then are fake to your face. Fuck the people who think they are better than you. Fuck the people who say they are your friend but lie and make you feel like you're always in the wrong. Real people will tell you what you need to hear whether you like it or not. Its called love, tough love. I am they type of friend who will bend over backwards for you, be your ride or die, but not all people are like that. Even Fat Amy says it, "people always have their own best interest at heart".
Is that not the fucking truth?!
Holy cuss words, right? Yep, I know that is what you're thinking and normally I would apologize for that shit, but I am not. This is me. The real me.
If you've been following my blog then you will know that my best friend and I had a falling out this summer. And you know, it's petty. It really is. We haven't talked about it. Have I tried, fuck yes. But, when someone takes 25 + hours to respond to a text, on purpose, that's when I say, "Do you, and I will do me". People will show you what you mean to them. 17 + years of friendship thrown out the door and for what? Who knows. There comes a point where you just have to give up, move on, and they will need you later. That is a fact.
This year brought lots of trials and tribulations but I am so thankful for them. If you're like me, then you can't grow unless you go through shit. I have earned some badass friendships with some awesome people who I couldn't imagine doing life without. Maybe its because we are all on the same level and live in the same community. I don't know. But I have found my tribe, and I love them so much. I have rekindled some old friendships with people I secretly look up to. This year has taught me a lot about myself and I am planting that seed. I mean, I did turn 30 this year so it's about time.
This past week, I took myself on a date. Someone asked, "could you not find anyone to go with you?"
Nope. I didn't ask anyone and to be honest, I didn't want to talk to anyone. I wanted to do me. I took myself shopping, yes, I went to Target and Bath and Body Works. Don't judge me, it a woman's paradise, okay. I got myself an amazing massage because as women we carry everything in neck and shoulders and mine felt like they had 1,000 pounds sitting on them. I also treated myself to dinner and a movie. From the day to day routines, being a mother, a wife, a friend, a sister, and everything else, being your own friend is important. You learn to love your amazing self. You become who you really are. Something I learned about myself is that I am pretty badass. I mean I'm like the coolest person named Cayla you'll ever meet, so if I am not you're friend, you're missing out.
So while at the movies, I was lucky to get a seat. This was the second time trying to go see this show and I somehow managed to get a random seat. Thankfully, I was by myself. Anyway, they have reserved seating so my seat was E3. Well, someone was in my seat and instead of making a fuss I just moved down a couple seats and decided I would just ask that person to move when someone asked me to move from their seat. So I am in like E-12 or something. I saw this lady with her two girls come into the row and I could tell that I was in her seat. Well, one, I knew this lady because she's like the big guy's wife from my place of employment, and two, I would get up for anyone because I'm super nice like that. I immediately gave eye contact and quickly offered my seat and apologized for sitting there and told her it was because someone was in my seat. She didn't acknowledge that it was me, a person she knows. I have always felt like she has always had something against me. It is probably because I carry a chubby waistline and don't run marathons, therefore we automatically don't have anything in common, right? She's the person my husband and I would always hold the door open for just to try and get a thank you but we've never been on her level, I suppose, so we just got the " I didn't see you" look. It's those people who make me wonder what makes you better than me? We are all fighting daily struggles and while some people make life look easy, I am an open book. I admit it, I have RBF and I can't control it. It is people like that who made me, and others, feel so low and so confused about being a Christian this year. But, fuck it. It is what it is, am I right?
This year I have learned to put myself in the other people's shoes. Maybe I get the cold shoulder or the "I am better than you" look because I am badass. Just kidding. No , but it's because they are fighting battles that they don't want anyone to know about. They see someone who is happy as a threat. Or maybe because I am content in my little home that's filled with love and laughter and happy in my marriage. You would think that that would draw people near you but it doesn't always. Misery likes company. I just say fuck it, don't stress about what people think about you. A person's opinion about us is not our business and quite frankly, doesn't define us.
This year I have learned to love myself. It is such a freeing feeling. I hope you feel that way too or will feel that. How did I learn to do that? Be nice to people. Smile at random people. Buy the next guy a coffee. Help the mom carry loads of groceries while trying to maintain a screaming baby. Forgive someone or yourself. Talk to the lonely old gentleman at the café. Grab that random grocery cart that is in the middle of the parking lot and put it up. Talk to the person you've been intimidated by. Buy the shoes. Book the trip you've been wanting to take. Meet strangers at a coffee shop to discuss the same book you've all been reading. Be nice to someone you don't necessarily care for. Be happy for people. Take a mental health day and take yourself out. Have a drink at lunchtime and loosen up a bit. Do you. Whatever that means to you, do it. Just don't be an asshole.
I worship inspirational books. I have a new one like every week seems like. Probably due to the lack of inspirational people in my life, like a mother. I have been on this kick on trying to better myself everyday. I think it is working. Sometimes I fail myself, but that's where I have to forgive and pick myself up, put on some big girl panties and lipstick and tell myself "you are badass". No one is you and that is what makes you, YOU.
2017, you've been a shitty fucking year and you can shove it. Because next year, I will make 2018 my bitch!
XOXO,
Cayla
You will be judged no matter what, so do you. You will lose some people for doing what you do, but you know what, the people who are suppose to be in your life will be. Fuck the people who sit back and talk about you but then are fake to your face. Fuck the people who think they are better than you. Fuck the people who say they are your friend but lie and make you feel like you're always in the wrong. Real people will tell you what you need to hear whether you like it or not. Its called love, tough love. I am they type of friend who will bend over backwards for you, be your ride or die, but not all people are like that. Even Fat Amy says it, "people always have their own best interest at heart".
Is that not the fucking truth?!
Holy cuss words, right? Yep, I know that is what you're thinking and normally I would apologize for that shit, but I am not. This is me. The real me.
If you've been following my blog then you will know that my best friend and I had a falling out this summer. And you know, it's petty. It really is. We haven't talked about it. Have I tried, fuck yes. But, when someone takes 25 + hours to respond to a text, on purpose, that's when I say, "Do you, and I will do me". People will show you what you mean to them. 17 + years of friendship thrown out the door and for what? Who knows. There comes a point where you just have to give up, move on, and they will need you later. That is a fact.
This year brought lots of trials and tribulations but I am so thankful for them. If you're like me, then you can't grow unless you go through shit. I have earned some badass friendships with some awesome people who I couldn't imagine doing life without. Maybe its because we are all on the same level and live in the same community. I don't know. But I have found my tribe, and I love them so much. I have rekindled some old friendships with people I secretly look up to. This year has taught me a lot about myself and I am planting that seed. I mean, I did turn 30 this year so it's about time.
This past week, I took myself on a date. Someone asked, "could you not find anyone to go with you?"
Nope. I didn't ask anyone and to be honest, I didn't want to talk to anyone. I wanted to do me. I took myself shopping, yes, I went to Target and Bath and Body Works. Don't judge me, it a woman's paradise, okay. I got myself an amazing massage because as women we carry everything in neck and shoulders and mine felt like they had 1,000 pounds sitting on them. I also treated myself to dinner and a movie. From the day to day routines, being a mother, a wife, a friend, a sister, and everything else, being your own friend is important. You learn to love your amazing self. You become who you really are. Something I learned about myself is that I am pretty badass. I mean I'm like the coolest person named Cayla you'll ever meet, so if I am not you're friend, you're missing out.
So while at the movies, I was lucky to get a seat. This was the second time trying to go see this show and I somehow managed to get a random seat. Thankfully, I was by myself. Anyway, they have reserved seating so my seat was E3. Well, someone was in my seat and instead of making a fuss I just moved down a couple seats and decided I would just ask that person to move when someone asked me to move from their seat. So I am in like E-12 or something. I saw this lady with her two girls come into the row and I could tell that I was in her seat. Well, one, I knew this lady because she's like the big guy's wife from my place of employment, and two, I would get up for anyone because I'm super nice like that. I immediately gave eye contact and quickly offered my seat and apologized for sitting there and told her it was because someone was in my seat. She didn't acknowledge that it was me, a person she knows. I have always felt like she has always had something against me. It is probably because I carry a chubby waistline and don't run marathons, therefore we automatically don't have anything in common, right? She's the person my husband and I would always hold the door open for just to try and get a thank you but we've never been on her level, I suppose, so we just got the " I didn't see you" look. It's those people who make me wonder what makes you better than me? We are all fighting daily struggles and while some people make life look easy, I am an open book. I admit it, I have RBF and I can't control it. It is people like that who made me, and others, feel so low and so confused about being a Christian this year. But, fuck it. It is what it is, am I right?
This year I have learned to put myself in the other people's shoes. Maybe I get the cold shoulder or the "I am better than you" look because I am badass. Just kidding. No , but it's because they are fighting battles that they don't want anyone to know about. They see someone who is happy as a threat. Or maybe because I am content in my little home that's filled with love and laughter and happy in my marriage. You would think that that would draw people near you but it doesn't always. Misery likes company. I just say fuck it, don't stress about what people think about you. A person's opinion about us is not our business and quite frankly, doesn't define us.
This year I have learned to love myself. It is such a freeing feeling. I hope you feel that way too or will feel that. How did I learn to do that? Be nice to people. Smile at random people. Buy the next guy a coffee. Help the mom carry loads of groceries while trying to maintain a screaming baby. Forgive someone or yourself. Talk to the lonely old gentleman at the café. Grab that random grocery cart that is in the middle of the parking lot and put it up. Talk to the person you've been intimidated by. Buy the shoes. Book the trip you've been wanting to take. Meet strangers at a coffee shop to discuss the same book you've all been reading. Be nice to someone you don't necessarily care for. Be happy for people. Take a mental health day and take yourself out. Have a drink at lunchtime and loosen up a bit. Do you. Whatever that means to you, do it. Just don't be an asshole.
I worship inspirational books. I have a new one like every week seems like. Probably due to the lack of inspirational people in my life, like a mother. I have been on this kick on trying to better myself everyday. I think it is working. Sometimes I fail myself, but that's where I have to forgive and pick myself up, put on some big girl panties and lipstick and tell myself "you are badass". No one is you and that is what makes you, YOU.
2017, you've been a shitty fucking year and you can shove it. Because next year, I will make 2018 my bitch!
XOXO,
Cayla
Comments
Post a Comment